It's Christmas time again. Most people know how I feel about Christmas. And even more so, how I feel about Christmas music. I love it. Plain and simple. I am, however, very picky with my music. Justin Beiber covering Mariah Carey makes me want to stick knitting needles in my ears. I am a fan of the classics. Gene Autry, Jimmy Durante, Harry Belafonte, Nat King Cole. Also, I've said it before and I'll say it again....country music is acceptable at Christmas time. I grew up on Alabama and Kenny Rogers at Christmas time.
This season has been a little different for me. Personal struggles and stresses have made the holiday season a bit harder to enjoy. I've been able to understand a little more why people grow to dread this time of year. I had an experience a few nights ago that restored my faith in the season. I've been struggling with a decision that I had to make. One that I didn't want to make. One that went against all my instincts as a human, but because of the circumstances of my life had to be done. The self inflicted repercussions of it had been, little by little, destroying me. So, after a particularly hard evening that was compounded by some other events, I found myself laying on a dock at Daybreak Lake freezing my arse off at 2 in the morning. Laying in frozen seagull poop, looking at the stars and begging for some comfort. Through tear soaked eyes and a runny nose I begged my Father in heaven to let me know that it was okay. I closed my eyes and just kept saying...I believe...over and over again. When I opened them I saw a shooting star. I know it's a simple thing. A thing of nature that happens over and over again, but at that moment I knew that one was for me. An answer to a simple prayer. That was all it took. I was able to stand up and leave.
This simple act renewed my faith in the holiday season. It isn't about stressing over money and gifts. It isn't about having perfect Christmas lights. It's about faith. It's about believing in a miracle that happened long ago and believing that they can still happen today. It's about family and love and giving.
"Ships go sailing far across the sea. Trusting starlight to get where they need to be."
This has become one of my favorite Christmas songs. It's about having faith in yourself and what's inside of you. Remembering your worth and the goodness that we all have. Our divine inheritance. And if we forget, find it again on Christmas day.
3 comments:
Beautiful blog!! Thanks for sharing the feelings in your heart; it is a nice, heartfelt reminder of what CHRISTmas is really all about! That's one of my favorite songs too!!!
It's a great one. Gets me choked up every time. It's so easy to get off track this time of year. In a way, I'm grateful that we don't have a lot this year. It's giving me an opportunity to really help my kids understand. Last night during family prayer, Biz prayed that we'll remember that Christmas isn't about presents. She's 6. One of the best prayers that's been given in my home in a long time.
I love it. Tons and Tons.
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