Me, myself, I got nothing to prove.

Do you ever get songs stuck in your head because of certain things you're going through? I do all the time, and I can't be the only one. Sometimes they aren't even songs I like. One time I had She Drives Me Crazy by FYC stuck in my head for about a month straight. It didn't matter what else I listened to, if there was a moment of silence in my life, it was there. I really, really, REALLY hate that song. Mainly cause the lead singer had jacked up teeth. And we all know how I feel about people with jacked up teeth. Blah. But anyway....

So, I've had this song stuck in my head for a few days now and I didn't really understand why until I sat and thought about the lyrics. Then I realized why it was there. I really think it's my subconscious giving me insight to what I'm really feeling. As many of you know I've been dealing with some pretty crappy stuff over the last couple of years. Well, it finally came to a head. And not in a pretty way. I mean I knew it wouldn't. But I didn't expect to feel the way I feel. I hate that I am such a weak person and that I can't just stick to my guns. I hate that I am so swayed by other peoples emotions. I feel like I give in a lot just to keep the peace. And if someone cries, forget it. I'm like the mother of the wretched kid throwing a fit at Target. Giving them exactly what they want just so they'll stop. Or not bring attention on me. And I always end up unhappy about it in the end. But everyone else around me is. So , I suck it up. Cause if everyone else is happy and I'm the only one unhappy then the decision must have been right. Since I'm in the minority.

This isn't a happy song. It's not a happy ever after song. It's about hoping for better and ending up in the same predicament just in a different place. But it is about working hard and doing what's best for you. Even if it means doing it on your own.