Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Happier things...

I was talking to Layney today and we decided that we both needed to start blogging more. About happy things. We are both relatively happy people, but a lot of our blog posts are an outlet for our anger and disdain instead of a place for us to share the good things in our lives. So we've decided to make an effort to change that.

Today, as I cleaned my house, I made it through because I kept thinking about one thing. That in 3 short months, my brand spankin' new awesome house is going to be done. I'm super excited for it. Sometimes, I lay awake at night thinking about how I'm gonna decorate it. I know it's probably silly, but I'm a girl so silly is acceptable. I have a bunch of reasons why I can't wait to move into the house and I'm going to outline them here.

I can't breath here. I know that sounds stupid, but this house is so small I literally get claustrophobic when we are all in the same room. Now, that doesn't happen very often and it's sad really because I actually enjoy my family, but it's just too many people in a little space.

I'm a bad mom in this little house. I feel like all I do is yell at my kids. One...because it's so small and they are always on top of me. Two, because they are on top of each other and are always getting on each others nerves and fighting. Three, there stuff seems like it's everywhere. Really, it isn't, but it is. I can't stand it.

Although the house is smaller, I'm constantly cleaning. When I'm able to spread the mess out over 5000 sq feet it'll seem a lot less overwhelming. Right now, I can't even kick it under stuff because there is other stuff there.

No dishwasher. Quite frankly, I must have had my head in my rear to rent a house with no dishwasher with 4 kids. Although, I am gonna miss watching Patrick do dishes at night. It's soothing. Shut up. It is.

This house smells weird. I don't like weird smells. Especially in the basement. The cupboards stink. I've cleaned and covered and every thing else I can think of. It keeps coming back. I need my own smell.

There will be no rooster. No Mariachi music. And, for the love of pete, no hacking.

And the number one reason I can't wait to move is that it will be me and Pats home. I'm all about things that are us right now. Getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. Well, minus the kids. I'm okay to keep them. For now.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Pour Ma Douce Amie...

There are those who like to put their accomplishments or trials out there for the world to see. For recognition, sympathy, help, attention...who knows what. And then there are those who are silent. Who smile on the inside when they achieve something great. Who cry in the dark so their tears can't be seen. Who put on the smile even though they are dying on the inside. It's sad really that these people, for one reason or another, feel like they have to suffer alone. That there is no one they can call when they make a perfect chocolate bundt cake that should win a Pillsbury Blue Ribbon. Or, even more sad, when they feel like they are drowning in despair. For some, it is the ways of their past. They were never good enough. The red headed step child.

I'm here to say this today. YOU ARE GOOD!!! NO!!! YOU'RE GREAT. You have light and life and people who love you. You have demons, yes. Demons can be exorcised. They don't need to be carried. You have people who judge you. Who cares. Judge not lest ye be judged. Their condemnation will come at their own hands. Don't be afraid to tell your story. It's so great to release that burden from time to time. (Check my fb wall if you don't believe me) It doesn't have to be for gain. You aren't asking for someone to feel sorry for you. You're saying this is how it is. And look...I survived. I'm still here. I'm still fighting. Yes, I've taken a beating. More than once, but I believe in myself enough to get back up.

And guess what...I believe in you. And Mikey believes in you. And Ash. And Liz. And Ian. And Livimonster. And many, many others. So who cares about the ones who don't.

Now, you know I like originals. But you also know that I think Matthew Bellamy is the only person in the music industry right now, that includes Brandon and Gary, with skills comparable to my beloved Freddie. Da man is friggin' amazing.

You also know this post is as much for me as it is you. We both need to realize who we are and be able to stand tall. No matter how many people are trying to break us down. Put your back on me, yo. I won't let you fall. Ever.

All my love, my sweet friend.