Okay...If your dude is gypsy or something, then maybe. Otherwise, this is just going to stress him out. He'll be looking at that one line and wondering when he's going to die. Then he'll look at that other line and think you're cheating. Or he'll think you're calling him a pickle. Which is just weird. This will not work out well for the giver, believe me. With the exception of not messing up your coffee table, there is no good that can come from this gift.
Because nothing says I love you like telling him to go wash his damn face. You should throw some dental floss in the bag with it. And some vaseline, just in case.
This year I think I'm going to go with a classic. A coupon book for sex. Works every time.