I jokingly put a mock ad on my facebook account today asking for friends. Although it was silly, it was how I felt. I don't know what it is about women. And maybe it's not even all of them, but we need companionship. We need other women in our lives to share things with. To get pedicures and talk crap. Men think we're weird. They don't understand why their company isn't enough for us, but it just isn't. There is a bond between women that is just different. A sisterhood if you will.
I feel like I lost a very close friend today. Someone who I had put a lot of trust and faith into. Someone that I thought would always be there for me unconditionally, through thick and thin. Someone who didn't judge and loved me in spite of all of my mistakes. It turns out it was only contingent on me living my life according to her standards. And now, in a time of desperate need she can't be there for me because she doesn't agree with how things have turned out.
My heart aches. I feel like a gaping hole has been left. I'm tired of being hurt by people. I'm tired of feeling worthless. Like I'm less. Like a failure. Like I let people down. So, with that said...I'm going to hide for a bit. Lick my wounds and hopefully come back with a bit more resilience. Add another layer to the shell.
1 comment:
I heart you. always.
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