As a parent you hear all these stories and read all these studies about how having a healthy attachment to your children affects them. But no one ever really talks about how that attachment affects the parent. My Maddi started full day school this year, and I have to say that I am not handling it well. It's not that I love her more than my other kids. I had a hard time when they left too. I think the main difference is that up until now I always had another one at home. She is the last and I am very lonely with her gone. The fact that several nights they go to their dads and I don't get to see any of them at all just exacerbates the problem.
I spoke to so many people who said I would get used to it and love the time. Well, it's been two months and I'm not used to it. On that same topic, it's been two years since we started trading time between parents and I'm not used to that. Maybe it's because I'm a mom. It's all I really know how to be. My job is to take care of my kids and now I have 8 hours with no one to take care of. It's hard.
Maddi and I had a routine for about a year. We came home from school at around lunch time, did homework, made lunch then laid in my bed and watched Wreck It Ralph. You would think I would get sick of it, but since we were coming off our Swan Princess run; I was grateful for the change. We would eat lunch and cuddle and tickle and laugh. And it was fun. And I miss it tons. So now I play this song on repeat and dance around my house and miss my munchkin when she goes to school. On the bright side, I'm sure I'm burning calories and releasing endorphins.
PS...Maddi is going to be Vanelope Von Schweets for Halloween. Guess who's going to be Wreck It Ralph. :)
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