Razorlight- America

I like this song.





That is all.

I need a vacation...

This song makes me sad and happy at the same time. It's about addiction and bad family relations and any other form of self deprecation there is to deal with. And no matter how hard you try the odds are, you're going to lose.

But it's also about acceptance and belonging. We all have something that we struggle with, are ashamed of, or have failed at. But that unites us. We are all a bunch of flawed losers so we might as well band together and find acceptance amongst ourselves. Stop finding fault with others and focus inward. Maybe we'll see that we are really all the same in one way or another.

Naked and Famous... just the way I like it

As I was driving down the highway listening to Alt Nation on XM radio, this cool song came on. Well, a lot of them came on, but this one stuck out. It's catchy and the lyrics are good. I think I just found a new album to download. Of course, they're coming to Dallas in April, but I have no room in my schedule and none of my concert friends live near me anymore. boo.

Also- as my boyfriend would say; "I'm totally jealous of their synths..."

Ode to an Ass...

I used to believe that everyone came into our lives for a purpose. Now I'm not so sure. I think it's true for some, but I haven't figured out why we have to endure people who rip us to shreds. Part of me says it's to gain strength... but is there no other way? Why do we have to deal with liars and cheats and evil people who profess their love, but really only care to serve themselves and their own selfish desires? People that dupe us into devoting our time and energy cultivating relationships with them, when they cleary have no affection for us. The only "people" they are capable of "loving" are themselves.

People like that have a special reservation awaiting them in hell. They go around using innocent people to make themselves feel better; they are so delusional that they really think they are worth the dust from which they were formed.

They are sadly mistaken.

I do not often focus on negativity. I'm a happy person. I love life. I love my friends. You'll never meet a more loyal friend than me. Ever. So when someone I dearly love comes to me and tells me how shitty and worthless they feel because of someone's thoughtless and callous behavior, I get angry. My friend is a good, loving, and generous person-one of the kindest I have ever known; but they have been led to believe that they are nothing... I'm not OK with that.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.

Fortunately, luck is smiling upon you and I am far too classy to ever condescend to your level. Frankly, you're not worth the energy- and I might break a nail. Then I'd be even more pissed than I already am. That would be bad.

You know who you are. I refuse to even speak your name. Just pray that you don't meet me in a dark alley anytime soon. It would end badly for you. You're barking up the wrong damn tree, you mangy mutt.

This song is dedicated to you. Please take heed and follow the instructions that you hear.

FOD, baby.

Post Valentines Day Rant

I'm not really sure why I'm sitting here writing this. I guess I just feel inspired. Valentine's Day really is a terrible day. I think it should be banned. And here's why. It has this horrible way of reminding people that they are alone. Even when they don't think they are. My friends google status this morning said...Why does love hurt so bad? My response was...Because you're loving the wrong people. I don't necessarily believe that. Someone can be very right, but if they are incapable of love themselves, it really only affects the person trying to give them a piece of themselves. You can do everything. Love so deep that it hurts and empties you of everything that you are. But if they don't know how to love it's not going to matter.

Here's my advice to my friend...Pull yourself out of the picture. Look at the past for a minute. How many people have loved this person? And how many times have those relationships failed even though he said he loved them in return? Even if he is in one now, it will ultimately fail too because he does not know how to love. He knows how to have fun and have sex and give surface emotions, but that's not love. Any man who will tell you that he loves you and do a full about face within a week DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!! I don't care what the excuses are. He has no clue what it means to love and probably never will. Any man who will willingly do things for his own carnal pleasures, knowing that if they ever come to light will hurt you, doesn't love you. It's hard. But it is time to walk away. Fall flat on your face. Wallow there for as long as you need. And then slowly lift yourself back up. If the desire strikes to try to 'refriend' this person, fight it. You will only be let down again. (Hopefully it won't be finding out that he slept with one of your friends while telling you that he loved you and then hiding it for months without ever giving you a thought.) But anyway...Don't do it. Let bygones be bygones. And look wholeheartedly to your future.

I hate Valentines Day. I hate that chocolate makes me fat. I hate that there has to be a day set aside for love. Everyday should be for love. If you love a person, you want them happy everyday and you do everything you can to make them that way. And it doesn't come and go. Love is a burning, powerful eternal force that doesn't just go away. It lives on. And it drives us to make the person we want or have in our lives feel like they are special and irreplaceable. It doesn't hurt. I don't care what anyone says. It lifts us and makes us strive to be better. It makes us whole. It makes us smile so much our face actually hurts at the end of the day. It gives us meaning and purpose. It makes waking up every day worth while. It feels amazing.

If that's not how you feel. It's not love. And most likely, it never was. Don't be a victim anymore. Let him know that you are strong and beautiful and good. And far better than anything he deserves. That the amazing love you have to share was wasted on someone like him. Then walk away with your head high. I love you.

A few things I don't want for Valentines Day...

So, to make it easier for anyone considering buying me a lovely gift for Valentines Day, I decided to compile a short list of things that I REEEEEAALLLY would rather not get.


5. Pretty much anything that falls in the category of "random, ugly shit".




















4. I love you but don't tell me your shit don't stink. Some things just aren't meant to be shared. Tandem toilets are out.



















3. Along those same lines. If you think the only way to say I love you is with some fake poop. You have serious mental issues that need to be addressed.













2. Anything with disparaging nicknames probably isn't gonna fly. Ho, Bitch, Wench, Big Tits McGee. All are a no go.





















1. Anything that says "I love you, baby. But I'd love you more if you looked like this."



















So, there it is. I hope no one is having to make a run to their local Wal-Mart right now to return a gift. Because if you do, quite frankly, you suck. That is all.

Love is for....

My co-author says that love is for sucks.

Sometimes I agree with her.

Sometimes I don't.

I'm a strange old bird because I am not a fan of commercialized love, but I better at least get a freaking card. Or Chanel perfume... or concert tickets to see my boyfriend, or a pair of $300.00 dollar sunglasses- I'm not too picky...after all, it's the thought that counts, right?

Anywho- it's Valentines Day; and I hope it doesn't suck. And I would like to take this time to recognize a day where, if we are not in a healthy relationship we feel like total crap, and an excuse to eat chocolates we don't even look at the rest of the year.

Hallmark, I salute thee.


Here's a little song you might enjoy on this fine and "love"-ly day...

I heart Sam's Town... a lot of times.

I have a sweet friend named Sam. She is one of my besties. I love her. Right now there are trials in her life that she is having a difficult time dealing with. My heart breaks for her because I know the pain she is feeling. It's easy to sit next to someone you love and tell them that they need to relax and have faith that things will work out the way the are intended to. It's a totally different thing to actually be the one doing it.

I know that there are things that make you cry. Things that you can't control. If I could take them away, I would. In a heartbeat. But I can't. Unfortunately in this mortal realm we must be tried and pulled until we think we might snap. The great thing is that we have the people around us that love us enough to pick us up when we fall. To remind us that we CAN actually do biochemistry. That we are beautiful and of great worth, and that the world would be a sad place if they weren't sharing it with us.

Sam- to me, you are one of those people. I love you. I have a select few that I call besties. I'm a total snot head(technical term).... Most people do not measure up to my standards- at least enough to be in my inner circle. You were in almost immediately. And if I may say so- that makes you fairly awesome. But I'm still not sharing my boy. Ever.



Lemme roll that world right off your shoulders.


xoxo

Mama...I'm coming home....

I'm usually an optimist but sometimes I just get so disappointed with what little bit of human decency people have left. What is wrong with our world? Why can't people live their own lives without meddling, gossip and lies? I'll never understand what it is that drives a person to want to hurt another one. I'll never understand why it's so hard for people to forgive and move on. And I'll never understand why people only expect the worst in others. Why they snoop and search and use everything at their disposal to find out what dirt they can get on another. It'll never make sense to me and THANK GOD for that.

But then I have to think how to I keep myself and my kids from falling victim to this when it's so prevalent in the world that we live in? I don't know the answer to that except to try to keep them from beings victims of it. By keeping them hopeful in people and our world. And by consoling them when it does fall in their laps. But I think the best thing to do for them is to remove any influence of this that I know of out of their pathways. So, that's what I'm going to do. And I'm doing it for myself as well. I'm tired of being sad, and heart broken and constantly having to explain my every action. I think it's time I get the hell out of here. See ya round...

Never Doubt Who You Are

My sweet friend Layney has been going through some difficult times as of late. A lot of change in a short period of time can be overwhelming. A move, a new job, starting school, being close to family again, yes that takes getting used to and can sometimes be very challenging, and a lot of other small things that go hand in hand with all of these things. Throw 4 kids and a husband into the mix and, well, you get the point.

Anyway...she's been a little down on herself. Thinking she's a bad mom and not smart enough to do biochemistry and not strong enough to handle all the stress of everything she's taken on. The fact of the matter is, she is probably one of the smartest and strongest people I know. She has gotten me through many a hard time with her wisdom, good advice, willingness to listen and big heart. She has picked me up from some of my biggest falls and when she couldn't she laid down with me until I was ready to get up on my own. She is a truly amazing person. Her 4 beautiful kids are smart, fun, witty, talented and very precocious. All of which they get from her.

She isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes is right. Even if she knows she isn't going to be listened too. She is probably one of the most compassionate people I know. I remember once when we were in high school we had to pick up a man from the hospital who had worked with my dad who was dying of AIDS. His name was David and on top of having the AIDS virus he was also very very unkempt. Layne walked over to this man sitting on his hospital bed, put her arms around him, lifted him up off the bed and let him lean on her all the way to the car. I have never ever forgotten that experience. Even I was leary of touching this man and I have always considered myself a very kind person. She didn't hesitate. She is an amazing woman. And I know she is going to be able to touch the lives of many in the new profession she has chosen.

I love you Layne. You are an inspiration to me. Always have been. I know you will pull through this with shining colors and anyone who ever doubted you, including yourself, will feel sort of foolish for ever thinking you couldn't do it. I am not one of those people. Stand strong my friend. You're not alone.