Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Know when to hold em...

Have you ever had one of those days when you had a crap ton to do, and your mind knows you have to get it done but your body just can't do it anymore? Well, I've had one of those years. Only in reverse. Physically, I'm fine. Well, if you don't count the extra poundage I'm packing around my hips. But man, psychologically I'm toast. It seems like everyday is more emotionally and mentally draining than the next. I swear I'm getting more stupid by the minute because I just can not cognitively function at full capacity anymore. How do you recoup from that? Take a vacation? Go to the spa? I don't know. It seems to me every time I try to rest, there's just more to do the next day. And I'm not gonna lie. I'm kind of tired of trying. I'm tired of trying to make everything right and everyone happy. It never turns out that way and no one ever is. There's always someone to find fault in what you've done. And am I happier? That's what was supposed to happen. You work hard, you do what's right. You pray, fast and read the scriptures and things are supposed to get better. Well, it doesn't always work that way. Apparently. Things can go great for a couple of days. Even a couple of weeks and then WHAMO!! You're right back where you started. I'm sick of starting over. I want the progression. I want to see that the effort I've exuded has made some sort of effect. So what do you do when this doesn't happen after multiple attempts? When you just keep losing hand after hand? Well, maybe it's just time to fold.

1 comment:

rebeldiamond said...

You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table- there'll be time enough for counting when the deal is done.

words to live by, right there.

You have to be giving, but you also have to live with integrity. Period. You have to live a life that you can be proud of. Make choices that honor who you are and what you stand for. Most of the time, that"s really difficult to do. Because you can't please everyone. So since you can't please everyone, why not make you happy- at least once in a while...you deserve it.

and p.s. you know I got your back. always and forever, no matter what.