I got asked a question this morning by my sweet friend that I wish I had a really good answer for. Mainly because I've asked the question myself recently. She asked me how someone you love and give yourself to can just say good bye and move on so easily? I have a few theories and there's a good chance that none of them are correct. But here they are anyway.
My first one was given to me while discussing this with a mutual friend of ours. And he basically insinuated that it's in the dna code. Men don't work the way women do. We need answers to questions. And we ask A LOT of questions at times like this. Men don't. They box it up, put it away and move on. So, there's the dna theory.
Theory two. Pure selfishness. They got what they needed whether it be companionship, sex, food or just someone fun to hang out with for a while. But all the while they had that, they are constantly looking for a replacement. Something shinier. With less baggage, perhaps. I don't know what the motivation is. You fill a need when they need it and when that void is filled they move on.
Theory three. And perhaps the most plausible. They're a bunch of dumb asses who don't know a good thing when it's standing in front of them. I think men get scared far easier than women. And when something is right they look for a million different reasons to make it wrong. Timing, backgrounds, kids, whatever. They can't accept that their feelings are right and because of that they push you away.
Theory four. Some peoples capacity for love is just far greater than others. Some people can give everything of themselves to another person with no regard for themselves. And with no expectations in return except for the hope that they can share an inkling of what we are giving back. These are the ones that feel the most pain. The ones that hang on to the hope of love after it's become painfully aware that there is none left. The ones that believe in people and believe that love can overcome any trial. These are the ones who are let down. And hurt until they lose faith in themselves and those around them. Because, unfortunately, these are the ones who give everything to the opposite type. The ones who can only love themselves. They take and take and take until you are completely empty.
No matter which theory you think is correct, or if you think all of them are crap, when push comes to shove, the only person you have to love is yourself. Because it is going to be through that love that you will find the strength to get up off the floor, brush yourself off and take the time you need to heal. To realize that you're good and kind and not replaceable. That no matter what they say or do, you will know that you touched them in some way that will make their lives better. That love does conquer all. Even ourselves.
Love ya Ams. And I'm super excited that I had a reason to post some Tesla. ROCK ON!!!!
2 comments:
You said "The ones that can only love themselves. They take and take until you are completely empty." I think it's the opposite, they can't love themselves, and that's why they need everyone else to. They even sometimes find a way to take from people who didn't want to give them anything, didn't want to feed their MASSIVE HOLE.
I like when you write deep stuff like this. I give you mad props for it, because it's something I can't do anymore...they kept getting what they wanted out of it, no matter what my message really was...they never got it and never will. Keep being yourself though, it's the only way you will ever find true love.
Thanks Ann. Sometimes I have a moment. And you're right, they usually can't love themselves either. In my experience, they are usually racked with guilt over things too. Which makes it hard to see the good in anything else. Too bad really because if you can let go of that and learn something from what you did instead of living in the past you can get something really great out of it.
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