It is time...

Let the festivities begin. :)

This is How I'm Feeling- CLeO StYLe

I haven't posted in a while. I've ben busy traveling to see my boyfriend perform and spending quality time with peeps I love.

Tis the season, you know. I'm full of turkey and pumpkin pie. And I changed the ringtone on my phone to officially ring in the holiday season. I have several favorite Christmas songs. I'm only gonna play a couple for you, because I don't wanna torture you too much, what with your bellies full of stuffing and pie and junk.

Happy Thanksgiving

Pull out the sweat pants and pepto and have a fabulous day.

P!nkalicious

I have come to learn that I am one of those annoying fairytale loving dreamers. It's actually quite hard for me to admit that because I like to think of myself as more hard than that. As someone who can say who cares and close off and walk away. Or as someone who can just give up on love. Who doesn't need it.

But alas, I was only deluding myself. Apparently I play the role of love sick sucka faaaaar better. And I'm okay with that. It's better than being jaded and poisonous to other people. As Nada Surf says..."Always love. Hate will get you every time." We do and say stupid things in the name of love. But we do far more damage to ourselves and others in the name of hate and anger.

So, I'm admitting that I'm a big fat liar when it comes to my "official" stance on love. It isn't for sucks. They don't deserve the time and effort it takes to make it last. And it takes a lot. And sometimes people screw up. And we need to make room for that and be forgiving and loving. Because if it's real, it's worth the effort to do it right.



Just don't stand there and watch me fall.

I hate snow...

It's cold and wet and icky and stupid. Hate it.



But I love Fleet Foxes. That is all.

For my Layners...

Whom I love and adore. And who is not at all bitchy or bossy or any other negative word imaginable. She is only kind and funny and smart and precocious and ferocious.

You know how you have certain friends that stay with you forever no matter what? Well, I have been blessed with two of those and the oldest and dearest is my dear Layney. She's always there for me, no matter what. She tries really hard to not judge me but that's really hard to do cause I can do some pretty stupid stuff. But I always know that she has my best interests at heart. Even if I'm not ready to listen. She knows when I'm having a hard time. We like to call it BFF intuition, but it's probably because I go underground and don't respond to anyone or anything. But she doesn't stop trying. She gets pissed that I don't answer my damn phone. But she never stops trying. She knows when I'm trying to sort things out in my head when I get that glazed look on my face. Then she rolls her eyes and says...just talk to me stupid. I can help you. Then I do, and she does. She'll lay in my bed and rub my hair and play music for me when I'm crying my eyes out in the middle of the night even though she's butt frickin' tired and has to catch a plane early the next morning. She makes me laugh. A lot.


This is how long we'll be friends...




Oh man...I'm funny...Here's your real song.




I love ya my sweet friend.

California is the place for me....

The worst thing about being so far away from people you love so much is having to leave them after a far too short trip. But we made the most of our time and had a blast doing it. Here are some of my favorite memories.

10. Cheese.

9. Meeting Elle and getting my first tat. She was wicked awesome.

8. Mmmm...Blueberry.

7. Getting to cuddle with my handsome man every night.

6. Listening to Gerard split a gut.

5. SkyCock and the Labradoodle boner shield.

4. Pieces of cherry pie the size of my face.

3. Laying on the couch in the morning with a cup of coffee, Brenda and the sun from the sky light on my face. I love the lizard life. Except they don't drink coffee.

2. Nathan saying..."This is the best day of my whole life."

1. Brendas face as she reached for me to save her as she flew off the seat of Francis' backyard boogie and I just pointed and laughed. Hahahahahahahahahahha!!!!

For Patrick...

Try not to miss me too much. And I promise I'll come home. So stop pouting. And maybe, just maybe, I'll bring you some Mickey Mouse ears. :)

One More Day....

And yes...I've been singing this song in my round brush all morning. Thanks for asking.

Two more days....

A comment under this video said..."106 teenage girls watched this video thinking it was Katy Perry then went crying to their parents." Made me laugh.

Enjoy the moment...

I think that there are people out there that are just inherently happy. I'm not saying crappy things don't happen to them, I'm sure that they do. But instead of wallowing they rise above and make something good out of what happens.

I love Matt and Kim because happiness just flows from their music. If it's not your particular style, they can take a little getting used too. But it's well worth the time. My favorite line in this song is "No time for cameras we'll use our eyes instead. No time for cameras. We'll be gone when we're dead." I love that line. It gives me a new perspective on the lives going on around me. We're so busy trying to catch the shot that we forget to enjoy the moment. And before you know it, those moments will be gone.




And frankly, happy people are far more enjoyable to be around then mopey, sad, woe is me people. And happy people have no time for pointless arguments and revenge. They're too busy being happy. And cool. That is all.

I'm in love. A lot of times.

I am getting excited for my trip... I get to go with a great friend, I get to see my beautiful BFF and I get to see my very favorite singing boy!


This is one of the best Killers songs out there.

Life is Beautiful...

I don't usually post twice in one day. But this is my inner thoughts post for the day. It seems as though whenever you get a little good in your life there are always those standing at the sidelines waiting to sabotage it. The adage "misery loves company" is alive and kicking. And thriving, it would seem. Well, I'm tired of being miserable. I'm tired of letting other peoples opinions of what me and my life should be like affect my outlook. I'm the one who decides here. No one else. No one gets to choose my friends. I do. No one gets to decide whether my behavior is inappropriate. I do. And a lot of times it will be. That's one of my most irresistible attributes.

Anyway... my point is that I can't let all the external crap affect my outlook anymore. There's so much of it, and most of it negative, if I did that I'd be living in the depths of despair most of the time. I can't do that. I'm too happy of a person to be continuously brought down by the craziness that surrounds me. Can we escape it? No. Can we control it? Absolutely not. But what we can do is remove as much of it as possible from our lives. And ignore the rest as best as possible.

Life is good. Not great. But really good. And I have to have hope that it will get better.





I have a lot of things to be happy about...

It's just my opinion...

But I think Brandon sold himself short on this one. He didn't think he would do this song justice because it was so beautiful. Musically and vocally I think his cover is far superior to the original. And I love Dire Straits. There's just something about the passion in his voice. I'm sure Layne will agree that the cover is better on this one too. But you decide...

I'm sorry....

But it had to be done. I love it when songs play through on my ipod that I've totally forgotten about. This song actually makes me think of my freshman year in high school. My friend Heather Connor used to love these guys. And I had to pretend like I hated them because they were prettier than me.

Here's a little Gunner and Matthew for ya.




They have pretty hair. That is all.

I Am Not A Man Hater...

I'm just a woman scorned. And quite frankly, anyone who has dealt with the crap that I have would be too. I have had my fair share of man folk in my life, but when I sit down and think about it there are really only four that stand out.

The first was an arrogant s.o.b who thought, and actually still thinks, the sun rises and sets for him. But he could sing like an angel so I let him get away with it. But high school ends and people move on.

The second decided to ask me to marry him and then tell me he had a wife and two kids in another state. And while we're on him, I met him at an LDS singles activity, which he was neither. Big phoney. Made that one easy to move on from too.

The third, well, sometimes people just aren't compatible and no matter how much you try to mold yourself to make them happy eventually your true self comes shining through. Unfortunately, not everyone is ready for your light. Or jelly, for that matter.

The fourth was a different story. I don't know that I'll ever fully move on. And I'm okay with that. Sometimes the good times can outweigh the bad and if you focus on them it makes your heart getting twisted into a pretzel and handed back to you easier to deal with. But sometimes you lose focus on those times and are filled with so much grief that you can barely move because the pain is so intense. I think that was the first time that I actually felt love and loss. And DAMN! that shit sucks.

So anyway...I feel I have cause to be wary of men and their intentions with me. I think even the purest ones can get tainted because of selfishness or guilt or unrealistic expectations or jealousy or whatever the hell you want to refer to it as.





Ummm...I've been listening to The Cure a lot again these days. I think I need a vacation on the beach. But I feel that the first song is how you feel in the beginning. The second is how you feel at the end. I guess it's up to us to decide which we hang on to.


(PS Couldn't find English lyrics for Apart. But if you don't know them, look them up. Very poignant.)