I love you. forever and ever.

You were born with goodness.

I'm right behind you in the light of hope. I'll be beside you on that dusty road... and if you get blind, well that's alright- wicked winds blow with grace and might.







when no one expects you to deny, but no one accepts your reasons why...remember that I'm always there.

I'm kind of obsessed about a Boy, A Girl and a Graveyard

I am loving this song right now.

Tarzan Boy and Cool Mint Listerine

I've had this song stuck in my head for three or four days now. So I thought I'd share. The reason it's been in my head is because it used to be a Listerine commercial and every time I use mouthwash I end up humming this song while I swish. I can't help it. It's how great minds work. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. So, don't burst my little delusional bubble. Thanks.






Bahahahahahahahah...I love youtube.

For Mads...

Yep...she knows all the words and the dance. It's terribly annoying. Especially when I ask what she wants for lunch.

Also, I'm pretty sure that's a banana. Not a peanut.

What's not to love....

Tired Pony

This is for my sweet friend who is in love with Gary Lightbody, NOT Brandon Flowers.

Here is a new Super Group fromed by some fairly cool dudes. Gary Lightbody (Snow Patrol) Peter Buck (REM), Scott McCaughey, Iain Archer, Richard Colburn (Belle and Sebastian), Troy Stewart and Garret "Jacknife" Lee...








Here are a few songs...















Album drops in the U.S. on Sept 28th... That's next Tuesday, folks!

I'm feeling sort of ponder some today. Life is just so crazy. You never know what's waiting for you around the next corner. Relationships that you thought were forever crash and burn. New ones rise from the dust but are they the same? Scarred and burned as they are. Friends become lovers. Lovers become enemies. Strangers become your only strength. How in the hell are we supposed to survive?

I think people are an addiction. We become so used to having them in our lives, no matter how toxic, that when they are gone we can't function. Can't move. Can't breath. We crave them. There's no rapid detox for people. Just time and pain and healing. And the hope that eventually you'll be able to feel something besides them again.

I've said it before that it is so surprising to me how easily we can be replaced by some. It's like the time and love and effort you poured into something just isn't important anymore. You're not needed because someone or something new has come along. I don't understand people like that. I don't understand the callousness that leads to that kind of behavior. How you can just be shut off, boxed up, and put out on the curb.

We all have a weakness. Some of ours are easy to identify. Mine is trusting to easily. And loving to quickly. And hurting to deeply. I hope it doesn't turn me into something that I'm not.

White Female...

If I were to write a personal ad it would go something like this. I do like Pina Coladas but really I'm a bud light kind of girl. I like classical music and walks in the rain. I like picnics in the park and hikes in the mountains. I like evenings out where I can put on a dress and actually feel like a girl. I love high heeled shoes and chocolate shakes and french fries. I'd rather wear a t shirt and jeans if given the choice. I love to go out and act like a crazy person, but I also like to lay on the couch in my pajamas and watch old movies.

I love to laugh and be silly. I have a thing for dorky men. I like Mexican food a lot. I like candle lit bubble baths and back rubs. I can out lyric anyone at anytime. Don't be offended by it. I love love. It makes me happy.


Seeking someone who won't let me down.

I'm tired.... Also, I'm plagued by burning questions.

Where did we come from?


Where are we going?


What the freak am I making for dinner?


and.....


who the hell is Holly?


I really wanna know.




ever noticed how cute Mark Hoppus is? Uh... I have...

The National

is cool.

Here... I'll prove it...

And here is Edward Cullen's theme song.... "Bloodbuzz Ohio"

Brandon on Kimmel

Hard Enough- Brandon Flowers

Tis' no secret how I feel about this cute boy. I think he's a genius. There are few as poetic and well spoken. The music industry has been flooded with "artists" who can't sing unless they have auto tune and have no substance in their songs (like I wanna hear a song that actually uses the words boobies... please). Here's the real deal, peeps.

Like him or not, he's talented.

This song has really resonated with me (most of his do, btw) because things have been hard on me lately. But, as I have learned, tough times can make you stronger, both individually, and in your close relationships.




I gotta admit, I do heart a boy who hearts root beer floats.

Truly one of the best and most underrated artists of our time, right here....

My happy song for the day....

I have a few things to be happy about today...

1. I got some sweet new trail running shoes today. Soooo pretty.

2. I have eaten nothing but two pieces of celery with reduced fat peanut butter on them. And I liked it.

3. My kids have finally stopped singing the peanut butter jelly song/the badger song/and the gummy bear song so that they could have an AWESOME time screaming about how much they hate what I made for dinner. At least they are bonded together in something.

4. I didn't go ballistic on the rude lady at Target when I reeeally wanted too.

5. I'm only slightly bruised and scraped from my nice and refreshing and TOTALLY planned float down the creek on Saturday. Thank heavens for swimming lessons and foot deep water. Cause I could have seriously drowned. Just sayin...

6. Dental care. I like smiling. A lot.

7. That funny Mexican guy at Ossine's shoes who I'm pretty sure was just making me run around the store in all 15 pairs of shoes he brought out just to watch my rear. Cause I liked the pair I picked out at first and that's the one I bought. But whatever. Glad I could make his day.

8. My sense of humor. I don't think I could survive without being able to laugh. Even if SOME people, you know who you are, have forgotten that I am wicked funny. I am DAMN NOT!!

9. That I'm not afraid to tell you that you're a dumb ass if you are one. Cause you are. And you should know.

10. Hockey season starts on September 29th!! Yeah Baby!! AND, yes it gets better, I have tickets to see the Bruins play the Avs in Denver on January 22nd. I told you it got better.


Ok, that's all..without further adieu... My happy song pick of the day.

Me LIkey....Alot.

Just sayin...

A few things I've learned...

I'm a firm believer that when crappy things happen you need to make sure you actually learn the lessons that come from it. Here are a few things that I have learned over the last few weeks.

1. Even if people have your best interests at heart, ultimately their interests come first. Survival of the fittest so to speak. Even though in a biological context, where that statement was meant to apply, that makes no sense. Because quite frankly, I can reproduce with the best of them. And I adapt to my environment pretty well. But anyway... You need to have a back up plan when things go amiss. And, you shouldn't place the whole of your future in the hands of another person.

2. I'm allergic to sage brush.

3. If you run in a thong for any great distance, you will suffer for it later. Just sayin...

4. I know who my true friends are. They're the ones who don't give up when you don't answer the phone or respond to texts. They're the ones who let you cry in their lap for hours and never once complain about the amount of snot and tears you're getting on they're pants. They're the ones that bring you protein shakes and homemade bread and granola bars because they think you're too skinny. They're the ones who drag you out of the house, even if it's just to the backyard, so you can actually see the sun. They're the ones who say nothing and just hand you a tissue when you burst into tears in the car for no apparent reason. They're the ones who'll tip the piercing guy and buy you coffee and stay up til 3 AM and sit around in their jammies all day with you. Love you so much.

5. You can't always run to momma. Sometimes you have to be an adult. Even if it sucks hard core.

6. You, and only you, can control your happiness. Yes, people can affect what happens around you and road blocks will always come up. But when push comes to shove it's a choice that you make. I choose to be happy. Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to cry from time to time, but in the end I'm a happy person and it will always shine through the clouds.

7. McDonalds chocolate shakes at 2 in the morning...YUM.

8. Van Halen at excessively high volumes can cure pretty much anything life throws at you.






I felt I had to give play time to both David and Sammy. Probably my two most favorite Van Halen songs ever.

This is How I'm Feeling Today...

I haven't done one of these in a while. And I'm loving this song right now. I'm done living half alive. And I'm pretty sure that I'm strong enough to do this on my own.



I know exactly who you are.

Right back at ya...

Here's a little fashion tip, and I can say this cause I'm your BFF and because I live 400 miles away so you can't kick me in the throat, you don't look good in blue. Take it off. Put on your make up and one of those big ass rings you like so much and dance around your bedroom. That's what I do when I'm super blue. I lock the door dance around in my underwear and sing in my round brush. It's more realistic than the thumb. Just sayin...



Close your eyes and dream... I'll set it up for you. Buckroe Beach. Around 5 AM. Dunkin Donuts and a faint smell of wet dog. Oh...And a wicked sore ass. Now run with it...

Love! Your! Guts! More! And you can tell cause I capitalized all my words and put exclamation points. ;P

A little ditty for ya

I just thought you might need a lil' pick me up and this song is perfect for you...





Show me a smile then don't be unhappy,
can't remember when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up because you know I'll be there


love. your. guts. tons.

I have a new addiction....

My friend Jen Oswald is going to be in serious trouble. She introduced me to Etsy.com the other day. And I am TOTALLY addicted to Jada belt buckles. So friggin' cute. Here are some of my personal faves...




















































































Aren't they soooo pretty? In case anyone was wondering, Layney, I wear a size medium belt. AND, it just so happens my birthday is just 4 weeks away. Thank you and have a nice day. :)

My Mid Year Theme Song Change...

I was just thinking to myself this morning how quickly things can change. Seriously, overnight. Almost like that annoying radio format change only with a lot more personal consequences. I usually like change. It means progression. But sometimes before you can fully embrace it, you have to mourn the loss of what you knew before. I'm still sad, and I don't know that I'll ever fully understand, but I really have no more tears left. And quite frankly, my eyes have been so swollen from crying the last few weeks that they got squinty and I looked more Korean than Brenda.

And I have to think that even if it wasn't enough, I did the best I could. I know I'm an amazing friend and a good person. And one day I'll find someone who wants me for everything that I am. And my amazing chicken pot pie. Just sayin...

Until then I have Ryan Star to remind me to take my day with a smile. Because the one I have is pretty fantastic too. Infectious almost...

Full of Guesses...But no answers...

For me this blog is a place to express and work through my emotions. Yesterday, I was just trying to make sense of a situation that I just can't understand. Looking back over things that have happened to me over the last year and a half, I had an excessive amount of joy, but maybe it's because I wanted to see it that way. Maybe it wasn't really there. I don't know. I don't think I ever will. But sometimes, you need to realize that two points make a line not a pattern. And there is no need looking for hard to explain reasons when its so clear in front of you. When people have been saying this is what it is from day one and you just can't see it. Is it because I didn't want to believe it? Or was I really so foolish? I don't know the answer to that either.


I guess I am just one to see the best in people. To look beyond flaws and give of myself unconditionally. And I guess that makes me stupid to expect that I would be given the same in return.

Anyway...I was angry yesterday. But it didn't make me feel better. , Actually it made me feel worse because it goes against everything that I am. Which isn't all that great, but mean and vindictive are definitely not among my dominant qualities. And there's still that part of me that is holding on to the hope that the simple conclusion is not the real one. That my friends are wrong. That I'm not as big of a fool as I feel like right now. But I guess I'll never know that either.

As for now, I need to handle some other pressing things in my life. Unfortunately, I'm now doing those things alone. But I guess alone doesn't have to be so bad.