Friday, January 28, 2011

I love being a girl

Sugar and Spice and everything nice. That's what little girls are made of. Ahh...isn't that sweet but then we grow up and we learn quickly that being nice and sweet and smart and giving and all that jazz really isn't all that important. What you do gotta have to make it in this world is boobs. You know...fun bags, dirty pillows, devils dumplings, gazongas, ta ta's, hooters, baby feeders, chesticles etc, etc, etc... And it doesn't matter what they look like. Big ones, small ones, saggy ones, perky ones, lumpy ones. We're an equal opportunity boob world. You just gotta have em. And know how to use them. I mean, seriously, these things are miracle workers. Never having to pay for drinks or meals. Never getting speeding tickets. Getting on the VIP list for clubs in Vegas (true story). Never having to worry about your horrible poker face cause no ones looking at it anyway. Looking great in practically everything you try on. Above the waste anyway. I've even gotten tires for my car for half price. That's huge and was done with nursing boobs so don't try that on an average day.

Anyway...my point is this. You can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on college and have perfect etiquette and always know the right thing to say. Or...You can go to the local Target and get a push bra and a low cut shirt for $15.99 and achieve the exact same thing. You decide. I choose BOOBS.

7 comments:

rebeldiamond said...

wow. I'm kinda speechless. Ugh...yeah....quite creative good friend.

As my brilliant 13 year old informed me earlier today- you can indeed find anything on you tube. Proof right here.

Glad you wer able to get over your writers block. And by the way- where did you find that picture of me????? That was sooooo not supposed to make it to the interweb. Mr. Cleo is totally dead.

FanStacia said...

Don't even act like you haven't stuck those knockers of yours out at an officer or two.

FanStacia said...

Oh wait. You went to traffic school didn't you. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha.



Sorry. That was uncalled for.

Scott and Mandi said...

This song was inspiring..My boobies are gonna become knockers in April...my bday present to me. True story.

rebeldiamond said...

I use my knockers for good, not ill. ever. how do you think I got my man?

and it's not my fault if the police officers I have come in contact with have integrity.

So there.

Alicia Yvonne said...

lol too funny... but the budweiser frog ladies at the end? weird!!!! no way i could go out in public with out a shirt on no matter how much paint was on me haha.

FanStacia said...

I can't wait to feel your new boobs Mands. Happy Birthday to me!!!